he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
