sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
