this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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