I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
