Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
