grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
