She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
