The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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