I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
