I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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