Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
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That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
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I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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