What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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