would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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