so that wasnt chicken after all
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
