this just has baby written all over it
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
