I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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