she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
