When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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