I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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