They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
it hurts more in the daytime
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
