Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
