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• (415): View more from California

  Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Cooked or uncooked?

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.

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• (714): View more from California

  The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy

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• (210): View more from Texas

  literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself

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• (941): View more from Florida

  He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked

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