So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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