i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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