found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
