Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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