Dual....:-)
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
