No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My vagina is very pro this idea
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
