Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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