My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
