I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
