Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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