How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
