I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
We had to coat check the pizza.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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