Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
