foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
