Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There r osticjed everywhere
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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