I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
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all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
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Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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