We're like a lot better than the average bears
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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