Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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