The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
This gyro tastes like lonliness
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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