Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
