I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
