I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
