We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
