Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You're like the curious george of whores
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
