why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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