is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
