sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
