my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
