You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
