I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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