This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
