Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
