Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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