I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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