fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
