Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
