Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
