Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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