I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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