Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
