His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
