Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
