dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
