I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
