Can Purell be used as lube?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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