He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
