In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
