I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Randomize
