Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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