it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
