so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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